Tag: Pain

Well, here we are again

So much for the sleeping well then.

As I write this I’m lay flat on my back in a hospital bed, at exactly midnight too, listening to a bit of Fleetwood Mac, who always sound amazing on headphones, but I need beter ones, and I’m awaiting a visit from the spinal team. What’s that you say? Spinal team? Why Dan, whatever has happened? Well, what hasn’t happened, and it’s not even the end yet.

I haven’t felt like writing or even doing anything for quite a while due to the fact that I finally admitted to myself, and sought help for my depression. Events of my past 18 months have been hell and there is still more to come. I’ve had depression since my teens but always managed it myself, I just couldn’t do that anymore and, after a breakdown, I finally sought professional help back in April. I was given medication and mostly slept and cried. Not a month later and I was diagnosed with Sciatica, an umbrella term for a few symptoms, this has been getting progressively worse, even with pain relief and Osteopth visits. So that leads me to tonight. After not listening to my body, I stupidly went back to work too early and have put myself in hospital with the prospect of surgery ahead of me. I have a slipped disc, and anyone that’s ever had it will feel my pain, but I’ve never felt pain like it! No amount of pain relief was getting rid of it, so, my mother in law took control and took me to A&E where I had the scan to confirm the slipped disc and the fact it is pressing on the nerves that control my bladder and making my leg numb. I’m awaiting to see if I will need surgery to remove or ‘shave’ the disc, or they can do it with intense physio. Physio would be the best bet, limits the chance of further damage, but the fact it’s pressing on my bladder nerve is a worry as it could make me incontinent if not relieved soon. So as you can imagine, the pain and the worry has brought me to tonight and being unable to sleep. I have a million things on my mind, not all pain related, some just weird like how can I need a hair cut already and I only had it done two weeks ago, and I just want to sleep. So I will bid you adeu for now and who knows. I could be posting something again soon, or maybe not…

Sleep well

Dan

P.S doesn’t music sound better in headphones, no matter how crappy they are.

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I thought holidays were supposed to be relaxing?

Evening guys. Tramadol is my friend this week.

We’ve just got home after a short break at Bluestones National Park and let me tell you I’ve never ached so much in my entire life. The wife, Diddy Dictator and a couple of friends and I embarked on an activity holiday, thing. We walked, we swam, we were exceptionally bad at Archery, well I was. (The wife was a crack shot at crossbow though.) And we climbed through trees. And that therein is where the aching comes from. 

Our friends and I did the high wires through the trees while the wife chilled out with the dude. Oh how I wished I’d never put my name forward now! I can’t even pull myself out of the bath! I’m not the most active of people, I’d like to be, and I do try, but holy hell I feel like I’ve been torn limb from limb!

 I started off so well, awesome zip line to start, first obstical, smashed it, second one, smashed that. Felt like I was in the final of Ninja Warrior. Then it all started to go wrong…

I am of the shorter variety and this next obstical had me stepping along logs that I was never gonna reach. That’s just small person discrimination! So naturally I fell off the logs and dangled 50 foot up for a couple of seconds before hauling my ass back onto the logs and shuffling along on my ass because getting upright again wasn’t happening. So that was my first warning sign, should have turned back then really, but no, on I went. 

Now in fairness, I completed the rest of that course with no other issues, so I’m back to feeling like Ben Shepperd is commentating on my round and I go into course 2 feeling confident. Oh how wrong I was. Firstly, just walking round the first obstical I twisted my bloody ankle. So, took a couple of mins, shook it off and soldiered on. Them came the cargo net. The second obstical on the second course, my downfall, the one that finally beat me. I was doing so well! 

I stated high, trying to use my legs more than my arms and half way across, I slipped. Into the net my legs go and my grip is gone. I try righting myself, while trying to get to the platform, but I’m slipping further down the net. Remember I said I’m not very physical, well this is where it was obvious. I’m so close to the edge, to making it to the platform, and I slip again. My biceps are on fire and I can’t feel my hand anymore. I’m one step away, and I slip again, by now, my arms have given up on  me. My hand has cramped up so much so I can’t even close it to grip, and I don’t even have the strength in my arms to even lift them now. I’m sorry to say, that net did beat me. I had to be helped onto the platform by one of the lovely instructors and I rested while the rest of the group went ahead. Including children. Children! Who had no problems whatsoever! Bloody kids. So after discussing the rest of the course, and where I’d need to use my arms, we figured it would be best if I came down, before we were at a point I couldn’t get down. I was so disappointed in myself that it had beat me. But now I’m paying that price.

I’ve not been able to lift my arms above shoulder height for the past 2 days and the wife is having to help me get dressed I’m in that much pain. The 7 hour car journey home didn’t help either with the winding bloody roads! ( it was only that long coz we stopped a couple of times and dropped in to my mums for tea and to pick the cat up) 

So I haven’t really slept since Wednesday because I can’t find a comfy position where it doesn’t hurt, and tonight, I finally gave in and had some Tramadol, which has helped me get movement back, just not with the pain, or knocking me out, which it usually does. 

But you know what, despite all the pain, the disappointment and the weather (it was a bit miserable) I’d do it all again. We had so much fun and the dude loved it, he was in his element and all his needs were being met, so he was a pleasure of a little boy for the whole holiday.  Just next time, I will have been in the gym for 6 months before hand and I’ll be able to bench 200kg and get my ass across that cargo net.

So from an achey and now and a little delirious me, I shall bid you adieu.

Sleep Well

Dan.

P.S The only bullseye I got, and I wasn’t even supposed to…