So much for the sleeping well then.
As I write this I’m lay flat on my back in a hospital bed, at exactly midnight too, listening to a bit of Fleetwood Mac, who always sound amazing on headphones, but I need beter ones, and I’m awaiting a visit from the spinal team. What’s that you say? Spinal team? Why Dan, whatever has happened? Well, what hasn’t happened, and it’s not even the end yet.
I haven’t felt like writing or even doing anything for quite a while due to the fact that I finally admitted to myself, and sought help for my depression. Events of my past 18 months have been hell and there is still more to come. I’ve had depression since my teens but always managed it myself, I just couldn’t do that anymore and, after a breakdown, I finally sought professional help back in April. I was given medication and mostly slept and cried. Not a month later and I was diagnosed with Sciatica, an umbrella term for a few symptoms, this has been getting progressively worse, even with pain relief and Osteopth visits. So that leads me to tonight. After not listening to my body, I stupidly went back to work too early and have put myself in hospital with the prospect of surgery ahead of me. I have a slipped disc, and anyone that’s ever had it will feel my pain, but I’ve never felt pain like it! No amount of pain relief was getting rid of it, so, my mother in law took control and took me to A&E where I had the scan to confirm the slipped disc and the fact it is pressing on the nerves that control my bladder and making my leg numb. I’m awaiting to see if I will need surgery to remove or ‘shave’ the disc, or they can do it with intense physio. Physio would be the best bet, limits the chance of further damage, but the fact it’s pressing on my bladder nerve is a worry as it could make me incontinent if not relieved soon. So as you can imagine, the pain and the worry has brought me to tonight and being unable to sleep. I have a million things on my mind, not all pain related, some just weird like how can I need a hair cut already and I only had it done two weeks ago, and I just want to sleep. So I will bid you adeu for now and who knows. I could be posting something again soon, or maybe not…
P.S doesn’t music sound better in headphones, no matter how crappy they are.